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The Perfect Gun
The can be no perfect gun. That’s why there are so many different ones.
You should think of two or three depending on what you wish to do. My first advice is to get a good practice gun and then use it a lot. After you build up some skills you will have a better insight on what you would need to get to address the other two usage scenarios.
Home Defense needs to be easy to use. In case of emergency in the middle of the night, you don’t want to be half asleep trying to figure out how to use the gun. There may also be the need for several persons of varying skills to be able to use it. Parents, kids, etc. Over penetration is also a concern.
Recommendation: S&W Governor with 410 PD shells and a solid white flashlight.
Carry has to be light and comfortable. Also easily concealable. Stopping power vs number of rounds is always a discussion. Over penetration is also a concern. Lightweight guns are usually not comfortable to shoot a lot, but you must commit to practicing at least enough to be functional.
Practice should be a fun and accurate gun. Affordable ammo is a consideration as well. Just something that is enjoyable and will lead to general shooting proficiency.
Be SAFE!